Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My penis needs a shock collar
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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