You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
