the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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