I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
