She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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