Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
