I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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