I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
