So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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