The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Small penises have feelings too.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
