We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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