i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
