last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
