I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
