i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
