It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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