I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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