so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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