Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
