her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
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What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose