4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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