ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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