It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?