did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
