this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
