It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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