almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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