i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
