I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize