I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
