...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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