i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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