Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
