she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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