I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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