I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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