i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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