Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
