I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
