I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
