We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I think my moral compass just broke
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
