If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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