hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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