please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize