I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
