I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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