Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
