how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize