I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
