One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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