I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
