So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
