I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
