those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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