Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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