Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
