Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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