i may or may not be watching the land before time
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Terrible idea I love it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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