Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
