I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
