We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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