For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
