Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is it because I queefed?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
