i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
