AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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