I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
