Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize