This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
