Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
