Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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