At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
