i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
